Hello readers, it's been some time since I last posted an entry apart from yesterday's entry which was totally random. Life has been too hard for me to cope in terms of studies & relationship wise. I tend to weep myself to sleep the past few nights. Such a drama queen, I know. But weeping is not enough. I wish I could wail in an open field to bottle out everything that I've kept. Hence, I'm not okay.

I think I am never okay.

I only smile for a while. Moments later, I am back to emotional. Sometimes I wonder, am I making myself miserable or are things making miserable for me? When something or someone ahead of me is just plain useless to continue its use, I obnoxiously want to keep it. Like why can't I just move onnnn? It hurts sticking to the things that never leaves a ray of hope for something better to happen. Everything's impending. When can I get those days back of smiling and having so much time with the person I love?

I've been yearning for a lesser strain on my facial muscles by SMILING. What's so hard? God. Ahhh, my life's messed up & I don't bother cleaning up the mess again since I'm tired of cleaning the same old thing.

I just feel damn sad, alright. Damn it.







Love, ABJ