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Welcome
The contents you read leaves here & no where else.
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Friday, February 27, 2009 8:08 PM
Untitled 22
 No regrets I'm blessed to say the old me Dead & Gone away. I'M FEELING LETHARGIC. Love, ABJ Wednesday, February 25, 2009 8:51 PM
Hot & Cold
Hello everyone. Sorry for not updating much yesterday. Wasn't in a good mood. I've come to a consensus that I should control my emotional these coming few days despite things that I dislike is going to take place. Secondly, I won't intervene any issue between both parties anymore because everything I do, I got a shitty help in return whenever I'm really in need of it. Thirdly, to those I've bellowed at I'd like apologize because of my short temper which took my life over recently. Fourthly, whatever wafflings about issues among you people I'm no more the least interested. Last but not least, whatever shit you're going to preach I'm not going to listen because it makes me rebel you more. I know I've changed due to unforeseen circumstances which took place at home. The tears of laughters in school are not natural. It's just something to get me by to make my day, at least. Neverthess, I'll try not to affect my problems from home with my studies or when I'm with my friends. Let's summarise the day. English Had 3 periods of English, how dreadful can that be? So Benny & I did alot of pairwork today in submitting another entry journal and doing cloze passages together. PE 2.4Km group were suppose to run. Strengthening group were supposed to carry on doing stretches to help improve on body conditioning. The games group had to play basketball at a nearby court while the rest either run or did strengthening. Some few girls & I chose not to play basketball but to run with our classmates who were under 2.4Km Group. So I ran with Sharifah throughout and she made a 5minutes differences; she passed. Thanks to me :P After pushing Sharifah till the very last bit, I continued running and pushing some others' backs to make them run. My resolution this year seems to be working well so far; helping others ;D In conclusion, about 80% managed to pass and they'll be joining the Games group! Can't wait for soccer next week, more enthrilling I suppose? (: Physics Somehow I'm starting to hate Physics because I did badly in tests. Going to ask for help from Chin Chye. Mother Tongue Did filing and mock test + disturbing Izwan. Haha! SS A.Tan didn't come today. However, she asked me to tell the class that test papers will be given next week and that there's only 7 passes. I doubt I passed because I was never good in SS. I'd only pass because of luck -.- So I suppose it's some History students' who's going to dominate the pass. After school, did last year's N Level Prelim paper and went for SJAB. & Such luck I haveeeeeeee. The Sub-Com seemed to be doing CPR twice today instead of other team members. Everytime I attended to a casualty, I will surely need to do CPR. Haiyer, & screwed up here and there but overall better than last time :D On the other hand, it sucks to kiss the dummy with the alcohol still wet on the lips (when giving ventilation, to be precise). I purposely went home late today so as to avoid Mum's naggings or whatever not that she's trying to demoralize me in a way or another. & Believe or not, I didn't speak to her since yesterday right after she screamed her heads off at me when I'm explaining things the halfway and the fact that I didn't raise my fucking voice. Brother got his own convesation with Mum combative earlier, & as soon as I reached home from tuition I got that piece of shit. Well, she's not the one who's under pressure. Everyone else in the house does. & For God sake, isn't she thankful that I took initiative that I managed to clear out all the dishes and put all dirty plates & cups in the sink? Time doesn't permit me to wash those god damn things because I had to rush for tuition. I explained to her thereafter halfway and there she goes bellowing. Tell me which fucking part of the fucking situation did I go wrong and did not do? Love, ABJ Favour, favour. Please don't give me another emotional piece for me to handle- Tuesday, February 24, 2009 10:24 PM
Move
 AIIN WANTS TO TAKE A LITTLE BREATHER, SO LEAVE HER ALONE. Love, ABJ Bust your move, & Get out of my way. Need no one- 7:08 AM
Hinder Words'
I just wanna be alone tonight I just wanna take a little breather Cause lately all we do is fight And every time it cuts me deeper Cause something’s changed You’ve been acting so strange And its taking its toll on me Its safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave Without you, I live it up a little more everyday Without you, I’m seeing myself so differently I didn’t wanna believe it then But it all worked out in the end When I watched you walk away Well I never thought I'd say I’m fine Without you Called you up cause’ it’s been long enough And you said that you were so much better We have done a lot of growing up We were never meant to be together Without you, I live it up a little more everyday Without you, I’m seein’ myself so differently I didn’t wanna believe it then But it all worked out in the end When I watched you walk away Well I never thought I'd say I’m fine, Without you Without you Without you Without you I just wanna be alone tonight,I just wanna take a little breather. *Explains you & I the way life is depending on a string like a dead thread ): Love, ABJ Now off to school- Monday, February 23, 2009 10:10 PM
Bored
Hello Earthlings. Let me just summarise the day. I didn't have a good sleep last night because I was half-awake despite knowing that I'm sleeping and having a dream. When I woke up from it, I was having a bad headache and bodyaches all over. Overall, I was in a daze during lessons probably because I'm still tired. POA POA was shit. I failed 12.5 out of 30. & To those unexpected people who passed, you know how you get that grade. No sense of intergrity- So yada, I managed to understand Depreciation thingy thanks to CC. Geography Nazme, Buddy, Hanif, Amirul & Atiqah joined me to do Geography worksheets together since Mdm Chan accompanied Sec One NCC's for CF. So, had relief teacher coming in. Did our work, & I went to sleep. MT Cikgu Memy came to class at the wrong period. Before that, the class was busy chit chatting away. Uki, Yani, Khy & I were busy doodling the board. & The whole class gave an opinion and their inferences when initials of letters were shown. Confidential ah :P So yeah, damn lah. Had to stayback on Wed/ Thurs to cover up today's MT Lesson. Read & Reflect Oh God, today's two solid periods were dreadful. Settled some N Level GIRO form, then did the stupid YOG Shirt design. Simply waste of time. I mean I could use that period to do Maths worksheets or something. Maths Today, we learned a new topic on Probability. Actually, it's Sec Two revision. Seemed abit easier for me this time, but it's only the fundamentals. So prepare to crack my head and squeeze the brain in time to come. Ergh. Nevertheless, I still am falling harder for Maths... & It's unbelieveable. However, I don't think I pass CT 1. So currently working hard for CT 2. JY JY! :D & Throughout this week or probably 21 March o9, will be staying back in school to brush NA for upcoming FAC. Very ubber disappointed that I got to POP on 21 unlike the rest on 13. Fuck. There's just so many things happening at one go and I cannot manage my time well. Can't I just enjoy lifeeeeeeeeee and study at my own designated space? Damn lah you people- Love,ABJ I'm missing someone more- Sunday, February 22, 2009 4:53 PM
Come Clean II
I'd put myself first, & make the rules as I go. Told you I'm a heartbreak kid. Sunday is dramatic and currently rotting myself at home. Dad had to go back to work because of some emergency, hence unable to visit Aunt. Probably going out to have dinner. Speaking of which, I think I'm getting chubbier even though my weight mantained for that matter. Thanks to eating out often. Sakura here & there, fast food restaurants and hawker foods. Gaaaah, I got 15.6% of fat in my body. Can I like reduce to 12-14% or something? I guess, my body condition improved on the greener side though. Hehe :P Okay, I guess I want to continue PSP-ing Dynasty Warriors 2. Time for domination! Welcome to reality, peoples. Plans for the day: 1. PSP 2. TV 3. Iron school uniform 4. Do timetable 5. Geography revision No regrets I'm blessed to say the old me Dead & Gone away. Love, ABJ Love still exist between Muhsin & I, certainly- Saturday, February 21, 2009 1:34 PM
Heartbreaker
Edited/. Hello Earthlings. Weekend's here and I'm feeling so bored even though there was school in the afternoon and soccer in the evening. Horrible day, amazing night. Numsayin? I went to school with Mum in the morning. Dad didn't get to join because he's working. Unfortunately, Mrs Kok had a sore throat and a bad cough, therefore Mr Siva did most of the talking. Feeling bored, I decided to be proactive and did my duty ushering some of my classmates/schoolmates' parents. I feel guilty somehow leaving Mum alone :/ 4-6 being the pro ones, all arrived between 0800-0815Hrs even though the talk started at 0830Hrs. Haha. The last time I wore my blazer was some month ago, and I wore it again today. After all, this could be my last time wearing it. That's why I did my duty :P So after the talk, went for another shift of duty for O Level batch. I was pissed by then because some of the students & parents don't want to move up to the front and fill the seats. For God's sake, some of you are really typical. & Fuck that. However, a million thanks to majority of the people for cooperating with us despite we getting last minute signals. & Also just to get to meet my in-laws. I know you know :P I couldn't getaway from Mr Nasir everytime and he always caught me off guard when I'm doing something, or probably nothing. Mr Nasir: Aiin! Just now I wanted to talk to your Mum. Nak complain ah. Me: !!! Huh?! For what, about what? Mr Nasir: Because so many days never rain (because my name is Nur Aiin, therefore known as norain). Panas tau. Bingit seh! Me: -.- & The conversation went on. He advising me to study well and how to stretch my time. So was planning at the end of the year, we'll be going Malaysia with him and my bestbuddies after our N's. Yay~ Went for SJAB after that and went home. SJAB was crap today. We locked YL & Mr Rafi from inside. Syazwana: Must say what? Mr Rafi: Please open the fucking door (: AHAHAHAHA~ Feeling abit agitated at that point of time, I'm sorry if I got people around me affected. First of all, YOUUUUU <> So went to sleep to forget my troubles and calm my nerves down. Woke up around 1600Hrs, met Ajib + 4 others at Woodlands then trained to Paya Lebar. Upon reaching, Dad drove us to his workplace for a game of soccer match. Dad played GK, I played CMF. Scored twice, saved thrice gave us the outcome of a draw. Reminds me of the bloody Maths test, Bancelona & Whirlpool. HAHAHA & It's been some time since I played whole field so I was panting like a dog ): Used to half court only :P Went home afterwhich. All in all, it was a good game. I'm feeling famished, therefore I'm going to have my dinner now. Plan to do revisions at night, besides I don't think I can sleep early after the nap earlier. & Yes, Wak got discharged yesterday. So Dad says we're going to pay her a visit tomorrow. I'M A HEARTBREAK KID <3 Love, ABJ I broke his heart in 30 seconds, flat- Friday, February 20, 2009 8:18 PM
Lifeless
Am I glad to say I just recieved library book fines! not. Firstly, I got to top up my cash card to pay since the debts were from 2002 :/ & Please, I don't wish to withdraw anymore cash from my account at the moment. Wanting to save up to a few hundred bucks, by end of March probably. So yeah. School was okay, I guess. I've been enjoying it. Studies (?), company of friends, jokes and everything. Mr Ravin put Nazme & I to be incharge of class outings which will be held once every two weeks. This is to inculcate class spirit and team bonding. Well, get ready classmates because we're going to have a soccer match :D Then it'll either be PSP session, birthday celebrations (for those who were already aged 16-19) or get together lunch reunions. Ohhhhh, I can't wait especially when we've stepped down from CCA and that we have the class, the subjects to revise, the day and the world to ourselvesssss. But on the other hand, soon enough the whole class will be going home at 6Pm everyday after school to do homework/revisions. Sigh... Can't enjoy life that much but what to do? I hope this rationale will have a good outcome for N Levels. Also, Mr Ravin told the class that he's going after boys especially the ones in NCC to get their haircut like those basketballers. HAHAHA! Serious serious, you boys look men lor. & One more thing I've realised, some of my classmates were giving each other the cold shoulder. Sometimes, I ever wonder is it my fault? Or that they were being selfish?Could it be me when I always priortise my own bunch of people instead of myself? I guess the world is never nice. NEVER. Thus, I shouldn't give a damn to people and just mind my own freaking business. Another issue being brought up recently. AA's facing a misconceptualisation. & Black berok's asking me to advice the team. If AA's reading his, I hope you'll make a solid decision. Think of how much you've endured under the Sun (with your skin went dark which is something you never want it). Think of how much scoldings and pressure you've been through as a team. & All those times that you have sacrificed for the competition when you can go home and study, or play soccer with some bunch of your friends. I don't blame anyone here but nevermind... I just hope that you'll be responsible with your deicisions made, treasure your chances and opportunities well because it's all about leading your men in the future and made you feel more confident with what you've had experienced. Hence, I shall stop here. LOL- & There'll be match against N-Gine. I don't feel like playingggg :/ Scared? Maybe because I didn't play for so long. & I hope next week will be fun with mates lor. It's all in the house, I'll pay for the rental court. Discount maaaah~ :P Love, ABJ Thursday, February 19, 2009 8:27 PM
Video Craze
I love this alot. I bet all girls & apparently guys out there too! :D :D :D ALL TIME FAVOURITE. 7:47 PM
Faraway III
 Oh being in a sense forgive me, baby. Summary of the day! Assembly I just want to say the videos watched were nice. Other than that, I guess was unecessary for Upper Secondary population. Do I look as if I give a damn about it? :P Home Period + Math I would love to comment Mr Ravin's lessons were and have always been lively. Despite learning the subject which majority have always hated, I can see we have all start to have fallen in love hard with Maths. Therefore, I believe majority of us in class can dominate the test tomorrow! :D I'm glad to say I was happily doing my Maths worksheets and I'm questions away to completing the assignments before submission date. Hehe :P Geography We got our test papers back and I was one of the passes in 4-6 & 4-7. Got a B4 though, just one more mark to B3 -.- I guess my life's doomed to score B's for my academics. Sigh. But nevertheless, I was motivated by Mdm Chan. 'Aiin, I have trust in you ah. Score distinction!' 'Ahhh, *smiles*.' && Someone's showing off because she got the highest. HAHA, nevermind it's okay. I'll try to dominate other subjects, & any idea how long have we been competing in terms of academic results until it affected our friendship ties are severed in such a way? Blame it on you sensitivity sometimes... Chemistry Ms Ho was the only teacher in the theaterette today to teach both NA classes. So when Washington's not there, the class were noisy especially our neighbours. Grrrr. Okay, maybe tiny winy noises made by my class as well. & Fuad went like 'Aiin, it's all yours' What he meant was he's asking me to shout 'Shut up laaaaah!' which I did earlier at the point of time and everything went silent for a few minutes. Today's Chemistry lesson was like nobody gave a f__ about the one who's speaking in front which got me real pissed. Before I forget, I got a B4 for Chemistry. Same score as Geography. I guess my life is really doomeddddd to get B's ah. However, I'm gad enough I managed to understand in a way or another. Probably thanks to Sharifah & ChangFu to guide me, not the teacher? I've never understoodedooded Ms Ho's fundamentals :l Physics Got another quiz. So I think I'm going to do slightly better this time round. I kept on failing Physics this month & previous month. Damn~ & It's the teacher which got me a distinction for GS in Sec Two. I think the problem lies with me. LOL! I'm going to work hard for it. Trust me :P Right, Bennnnnnnnnny? Random: Suddenly it struck my mind that I believe this is the pimple season. Take a look around you and OBSERVE. You'll laugh your butts out. & Somewhat extraordinary conversation I had with the girls during lunch was armpit hairrrrrr. Apparently someone's excited about it. HAHAHA! That's my day today. Thank God most of the time spent today were filled with laughters. Skali the emotional crisis just started, not ended. Still, we should begin with the end in mind mah~ Love, ABJ Wednesday, February 18, 2009 4:03 PM
Untitled 21
Tell me if I'm losing my mind & that I looked okay. How should I describe my day today? Mundane, I guess. I was tired throughout the day, thanks to PE. On the brighter note, I love today's PE lesson. Eunice & I were intending to run to give some motivational support for those classmates who failed previously. But we ended up playing soccer with some of the guys (Who passed the run). Out of 16 girls, only 5 girls made it so we played games (That's the why). Basically, the guys divided the girls mainly Huizhu, Eunice, Dian, iJan & I. I was under Chinese supremacy together with Nazme, the only Malay blood running. Whereas the rest joined the next group. Obviously, the malay supremacy won right. KANASAI! Nevertheless, the match was tight although the malays won over their triumph. Never did I expect those Basketballers to play quite well. So KS, WS & I scored the most number of goals despite the lost. However, minutes passed & one by one those people doing strenthening joined my team. We wer trashed by few goals after Anwar joined. It's okay, very excellent game though. Two goals scored by me, I could've scored the third one though but thanks to my shoe which came out. Damn~ HAHAHA! It's embarassing. Afterwhich, came recess. I was still shivering while eating. Hence, I didn't finish my food due to laziness (but I'm still hungry!) Then throughout lessons, I was feeling sleepy and Benny was being an ass. He grabbed my hand and waved it in the air so that A.Tan made me answer her questions. Sorry Benny, I'm not being proactive. HAHAHA~ Therefore, I'm not a happy student following happy seven idiotic habits (which are true, huh?) So that's my day today. Oh & yes yes, Benny & I got our seats reshuffled yesterday. It was horrendous area I tell you. Sitting near the rear of the door at the front with no fans was extremely ridiculous. & We can never try to do anything funny like we used to at the back of the class now. Thanks you lah, Benny! Because... Mr Ravin: Huh! Benny you got a 4/40 for Maths?! I'm gonna slap you I tell you. Benny: Huh, oh. *whispers to me* I told you I very bad in indices and algebra. Damn laaah~ Mr Ravin: What happend to you? You seemed to get distracted. Is it because you're sitting with Aiin? Class: Woooo + weird2 noises~ Me: Eh Benny, you want bet. Confirm we kena change place one. Benny & I: BANGKAI!!! (The Kamikaze game) Benny, all your fault laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! I, never thought that I had anymore to give. Pushing me so far, here I am without you. Moving on, Dad rushed to Wak's house to send my aunt to the hospital again. Sigh. She just got herself discharged two days ago? This got me remeniscing Grandma's death. & Tomorrow's her 2 Years Death anniversary. I doubt no one in the family remembers, alwayyyyyys. So sick of it. Sigh. I don't know, whenever Grandma's Death anniversary is nearing, I always feel emotional throughout the week of even the month. Probably grieving over certain issues made me being reminded of Grandma? Sighhhhhhh. Alright, plans for the day: Study. Nap. Avatar & Galatik football. Study again. Bed.
Love,ABJ Drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made- Tuesday, February 17, 2009 11:08 PM
Fucked Up
 AIIN IS PISSED & UPSET ABOUT THINGS AROUND HER. Love, ABJ Monday, February 16, 2009 4:45 PM
Oh, Whatever Happen To...
Edited/. Damn it, my eyelids are heavy and they're yearning for bed probably because I slept for 5 solid hours only last night. Summary of the day: School was alright, I suppose? Despite having several issues that's still ringing in my head, I managed to keep myself calm and acted normal. Speaking of which, people whom I were close to changed either for the worst or for their own good. Maybe, let's just put it it's the wind of change(s). SS lesson wasn't lively. The class wouldn't anticipate whatever crap or questions bing shot. This made A.tan more depressed. She admitted that she's still suffering from emotional baggage but I'm glad she didn't blame 4EALGES, though. Clearly, it was our 'neighbour's' fault isn't it? In a way or another, I sympathized her although she's being a nag most of the times. But it shows that she cares, & she's proven to have make classes produce good results in Humanities. Well...? Turn yourself in. I used to get very pissed of with her every lessons especially last year. I guess, there's synchronisation afterall (: POA was very boring, therefore I'm dead. & So are the rest. 3 Periods of forsaken POA. What do you think? & Someone wanted to book a seat to sit next to me next lesson, huh? English lesson was very boring. We were brainstorming about a debate motion as a class to help those debators. I was actually suppose to be in one of the teams, but here's what Mrs C said to me after class: Mrs C: Aiin, I didn't put you in the team because you're shouldering so many responsibilities of being an SC & that you're preparing for FAC next month. Me: Oh, okay. All the better then (: I don't have to necessarily stress up my life. Hehe. That was one narrow escape that I don't want to be putting myself in that piece of shit. Noon struck and some members of SJAB went to RP to do our PD. Was a longggg journey and half of it was done by walking. I was grieving throughout the walk. By then when we reached the indoor sports hall, I was thirsty so I ended up treating Syazwana to a drink. Luckily, I had my Cashcard with me so we paid the drink via cashcard at a vending machine. This is what happends when you don't have coins :D In my opinion, I think they should operate Cashcard regulated vending machine islandwide. Wouldn't that be awesommmmmmmme? :P So yeah, I was having bad headache watching those netballers. Left home early. & Thanks to Syazwana for sending me off halfway. If not I could've gone lost. So that's my day.
Love, ABJ. The situation is a staying kind- Sunday, February 15, 2009 1:07 PM
Bloody Valentine, Not!
14 Feb o9 was at least occupied with things I 'love' . Home Nursing laaaaah. Woke up in the morning, YL messaged to meet up at Mc D for breakfast. & Suaaaaaaaay lah, remember the Mc D guy? I bumped into him again. He's trying to attract my attention by grabbing a drink for himself when I was at the counter taking my order. Luckily, I moved to the other counter before that. Or else he'll be the one who's going to serve me. Ergh. I'm sure NAD felt disgusted if she's being reminded of it. Haha. Okay, so after that went to Jurong and had HN. Theories and practicals were filled with laughters along the way. YL & I cabut at 2. Went to IMM and walked around with Mil & YL. Since I was dead broke, I didn't buy anything. Trained to Admiralty and saw iJan. Then I went home. As soon as I reached home, I got myself changed and the whole family coincidentally wore black. LOL. Went to Wak's house to visit her as she was discharged earlier that morning. So eat eat eat, watch TV & powernap for a while until 23ooHrs. Left for home. & Of course, Wak gave me $25 each to bro & I. Told you sooooooo- Therefore, I'm not totally broke afterall. But I'm saving up & Mil knows my rough masterplan (: All in all, I was filled with content and forget all my troubles at least for a daaaaaaay. Thank God. 15 Feb o9 is going to be a boring day. Went for Ngaji in the morning despite my sore eye on the left. Damn lah, must've gotten it from Jeremy last Friday. & Pleasssssssse, I just recovered from eye infection last month and I do not want anymore MC's!!! Dad's working today so family's not going anywere. My current plan today is to do some revision and do the laundry. Then I'll relaxxxxxxxxx and got myself geared up tomorrow. There's PD tomorrow @ RP. BOHOO ): HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY, EPUL! Love,ABJ Friday, February 13, 2009 8:36 PM
Life Is Doomed
Hello fellow readers. Today's hell alot of a day that took place. TDD terrorrism re-enactment etc. Was overall o...kay lah. G double O D J O B. Haha. When we're in class, had class decorating competition and IPP. IPP was tough, especially those classmates of mine wearing U. & Suhada & I were the only girls who helped the NCC & Basketball boys with the sealing of windows and doors. Also a million thanks to HuanHuan who took the pictures (: Will upload it real soon once I've charged the batteries. However, I was busy doing my Maths worksheet in the first place when the rest of the class are contributing something. Benny was sitting next to me with YK,CK & some other chinese guys. Mr Ravin: Wah, I see a rose and so many thorns. She still can do her work despite the noise ah. That's good. HAHAHAHA. After finishing the worksheet + talking/ joking with them I decided to give them some assistance. During IPP, everyone was mainly half dead ah except HuanHuan & I who were busy playing Scissors Paper Stone. Self-entertainment you see :D & Fifteen minutes before noon, finally we got some fresh air. Heeeeeeeeee. Went to lunch after school and had training. Wooh! What a tiring day. Waited for Dear but to no avail so I decided to go home ): Well, I guess that's my fate. Would you catch me if I ever fall? I felt that there's just no spark between us anymore. Don't you feel any worry or sense of no belonging in someone's heart/hand/life? Well, I do. People have been telling me to let go of everything, but I simply just can't do that. Because I don't want it to happen. It's up to you how long do you want this to continue. The decision lies in your hands. Not mine, because I made the mistake. Therefore, you decide my consequences. Take it that I had to do a forfeit. Even conversations seemed so dead. Sigh, I don't know. Maybe I had to step up and force myself to make a decision which I don't want to put myself in such a miserable position? Dear God, give me some guidance. P/s: I try not to let my entries be emotional. Love,ABJ I try to let your memory out of my head- Thursday, February 12, 2009 10:51 PM
Nice Piece Of Art
That we ain't talk since we left, it's so overdue. School has been very mundane, tests everywhere. TDD every now & then this week. Boy, it's been real hectic and tiring isn't it? Well, what to do. Let's just endure! However, life doesn't seem so smooth these days. When there's just too many rights to enjoy and happiness overspilling our lives, things just tend to go wrong. Really wrong that you find that there's no need to look the person in the eye to leave an expression for you to admire and be ameable about. When you see that there's no need to face the person because you think you've done too many sins towards him/her. I admit, I have. But I cannot do anything now to turn myself around. Although such misunderstandings occured between the two of us, I'm gla I've never shed any tears for slightly more than a week. Probably because I know my tears are worthless to you. & That I've been emotionally stronger after letting out major grievances through crying. I just felt alot better now although at that moment of time, I felt like crying everyday just to satisfy my hearts desire (to forget my agony). Although that feeling of anguish stays right here the place where you took up in this life, I don't actually make the agony grew any larger and took up the room which is meant for you. Because it's actually yours, unless you're proving to me you got a larger and a spacious one waiting for you. Now, let's hope that it's not true or I'll be finding my life in despair after much of undergoing emotional stress. Well... for now. I just hope I can make it up to you. Put up a brave front. Say what I have to say. Start afresh. Refurbish my mistakes together with yours. Share everything, forget the damn regrets and move on. Then, we'll be happy. Perhaps, for the rest of our lives if we are really meant to be. It's been days since I'm going home alone. Remeniscing what we'll be doing at certain point of time whenever I looked a the watch. It brings back alot for me to understudy the situations and things I could've done to make it better. & At least, to make me smile at myself. I guess, time will not tell. I have to start from myself. Everyday, seven takes of the same old scene Love,ABJ Thought that we were stronger- Wednesday, February 11, 2009 8:13 PM
Untitled 20
I didn't cry the day you moved away. Life's been real hectic this week with TDD, SC & SJAB issues flying around here and there until miscommunication was led. Sigh. But life has to still go on no matter how bad it is. I wasn't feeling well since Monday and the headache I seem to got deteriorated. Maybe I'm just under pressure from people around me. All I want to do is just to focus on my studies and not bother about other unnecessary stuff that I shouldn't be caring at this point of time. But I guess, God's making me run here and there putting myself to be in so many activities. I wonder why. & I hope I'll get the picture for doing all these. Please SC & SJAB juniors, learn fast be efficient. Take initiative & be proactive to your surrounding because we'll let you stand up on your own feet, real soon. Provided if you keep the ball rolling. Hence, life will be easier for the seniors and let us focus to what we should be. Well, let's just pray hard everything settles down by next month and we're ready to set you off to embark your own leadership skills you're going to gain and share. Which, I doubt so. But I have faith in you people (: Lessons were okay except for Physics I faileddddddd no idea how bad. But I guess it's just a near to borderline pass. On the other hand, I think I can fare for Chemistry. & As for Humanities, instincts has it that I'll do reasonably well in Geography and a commendable effort put in for SS. Therefore, I will roughly get a B Grade. Well, I guess. The subjects left for tests that were not taken were POA, English & Maths which is next week. Most worrying thing will be POA. Because Balance Day Adjustments pulls everything down. I regretted because I just found out my strength goes for FNN, not Accounting. & I'm so not going to choose Ba for Poly Course -.- Alright, I think this is it for now. Not much of a thing to say in short, so why still bother to read. && Apparently someone who had graduated 2 years ago sent a reporter to report news of me. You're such a bare ass daredevil. HAHAHAHA! Okay, alright. I think I need to endure whatever events that I'm involved currently. Till then, my head's going to burst soon. Therefore, need a hearty dinner and good sleep. Current summary of life: Whatever happen to our innocence? AIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, be strong! :D Word of self-motivation. Next time I'm losing my mind Love,ABJ Tuesday, February 10, 2009 9:48 PM
TDD
So clever, whatever. I'm done with these endeavours. Today was alright. Had to went to school to plan of getting Sec 2 Batch Councillors. & I need to take 4 kids. Boohoo, but I think it's going to be fun? :l So yadayadayada, almost the whole SC knew that there's going to be food rationing today. Hence, we ended the meeting early and went for a heavy breakfast :D Today's POA lesson- there was a slight improvement in noise control for the first two periods only. However, the volume went up afterwhich until recess. English lessons were as usual, very boring thus, I helped SW distributing the books by taking initiative so that I'll not fall asleep. The comprehensions were do-able yet Mrs C went through one by one. & She managed to go through 4 questions in one hour. Very pathetic and poor tme management. Nothing seems on the go when it comes to English lessons these days. Preferably, Mr Seow was the best! Nevertheless, I'm ready to fare my English test in two weeks time! :D Maths lesson's being an ass as lessons go by. We're given tonnes of worksheets and had to be completed in two days. I ran out of fulscap paper. Plus, Cumulative Frequency has always been giving me problems since I was Secondary 2. Boohoo ): After lunch, had Chemistry test. Luckily I studied some few weeks ago so it wasn't that bad for me to understand them when I read those notes minutes before the Chemistry test. Paper was quite easy, & credits to Benny for helping me earn a mark :/ I clearly knew I had to shade non-metals but heck, I wasn't fully present then so I shaded those transition metals. On top of that, I find Chemistry's paper was much more easier than Physics. I counted and I roughly going to get 18-22 out of 25 for Chemistry test? Oh well, I think I'm going to flunk Combined Science :O After school, took some photos of my NCC classmates for some purposes. I fight with those boys almost everyday in class, you know. HAIYO. .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) P/s: TDD F D was craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap. I didn't claim the biscuits. HAHA. OBS ones were way better. *No offence. Love,ABJ Monday, February 9, 2009 5:23 PM
I'm Getting Over You
 I'm restless. Defenceless. I guess, today school was alright. Except that I wasn't in a good mood these day although I laughed my ass out during class. First 3 periods was POA. Seriously, it's the period where my mood got spoilt and affected my day of learning. The class was noisy and that fact that there's only one teacher to take charge of the class of more than 40 people taking POA. Whatever shit the teacher's teaching couldn't get into our heads especially 4-6. I'm not saying the 4-7 are making noises alone but they're the ones who actually contributed more, especially the girls. Was I even in the wrong to ask a question that I'm unsure of? The next thing I knew was I got blasted by the teacher. Can I say that she's venting her anger on me instead of another classmate who's testing her patience and talking to her rudely and that she couldn't win the talk over? At that very moment, I felt like storming my way outof the bloody classroom and take a sip outside. But because of the leadership role I'm carrying, I had to therefore be patient and keep quiet. However, that point of time her sight irks me. After POA was Geography. Ran through some questions then started the test. I'm glad I managed to answer almost all of the questions and I'm confident of getting an 18/25? Just by luck that whatever I analyzed through came out in the test (I didn't really study, only mind-mapping) Cikgu Memy didn't come for MT so POA teacher relieved the class and POA-ians went WTF. Luckily it was for a period. But during the lesson, I focused on the work given and finised it fast. So managed to take a break. Then came Read & Reflect period whereby the class was in deep shit, I can say. But the more unfortunate ones were 4-7 as Mr Ben were screaming his head off at the class for not doing POA homework. 4 EAGLES can hear his voice boomed. Unlike my class, Mr Ravin was stern but somehow we managed to joke along the way. I admit I didn't get to finish last week's work butI managed to finish it by lunch time. After lunch, was two periods of Maths. Did some maths worksheets. After that, was told that there's no FAC Training soI went home alone. There's just so many things that were running through my mind but I don't know what it is when I was on my home. Sigh. Life's just being emotional for all I know. & Please, don't give me anymore shit to do or participate. Because I'm dead beat, with all SC & SJAB. Please... All I want to concentrate are my studies and upcoming FAC, which none needed pressure. I can't take it anymore. Oh God. Love,ABJ 5:07 PM
You
How I exactly feel. P/s: Don't mind about the video too much, but the song. Sunday, February 8, 2009 6:37 PM
Makes me wonder
Wazaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Okay, this would be my second entry for the day. Currently stopping my revision halfway as a form of break. So here I am blogging. There's lots of homework to be done and a handful of pages to finish up my revision on Geography. Let's see. I still got: 1. Standard Deviation Tutorial 4 (Last worksheet for the topic!) 2. Indices 2 3. Indices 3 & I had to hand all these worksheets by tomorrow! But it's okay. I think I can manage it. Indices are my favourite :D As for Geography, I have yet to do mind mapping on Blue Revolution, political & economic factors of intensity of food production to be precise. Seems like there's only a few factors to be done, but in the actual fact it's tedious. Oh well, I'm going to continue my revision and homework till late night probably at 10? Wether I finish them or not, I got to knock off from my desk and go to bed. Why? Because feeling lethargic and wanting to finish your homework at the worst quality doesn't sound right. Random: I'll see you someday like I've never knew you (: Love is all about understanding alongside of the good and bad times during the relationship. Yes, Love for me doesn't seem right these days. I wonder why. Maybe I just don't understand them. & I managed to troubleshoot my mistake. I'm found guilty for such action towards Love, I can't help it but to raise my voice because as I was talking to you, I was on the verge of crying. Therefore, I'm sorry. But I hope you'd take to account on how I felt that day. Am I being too gullible because of love? Love,ABJ 2:34 PM
Saviour
 Hello earthlings! Firstly, as you can see I got myself a new blogskin! Tried to cheer myself up with some gay colour. Purple's one of my favourite, I guess? Well, there's not much of events that took place all this week or previous. Just that I'm practically busy with schoolwork & CCA. Thus, under intense pressure. Looks like my lovelife is making it's way to downfall as well. All I just got to do it pray hard, be patient and see how things will go about. & Along the way, I'm sure I need to be making decisions that determine the future. However, I don't wish for the day to come. When we can make things easy, why do we always pick the hard way? I guess that's life. You tend to make one big round when the answer lies in front of you. Or in one's eyes. Despite the words & actions thrown to me, I decided to stay calm and move myself away from the crowd to leave some space for me to recuperate myself in silence without using anyone's form of aid or assistance. It's time for me to probably stand up on my own feet, and make my own decisions instead of asking empty vessels of opinions from others. You might always be seeing me in such a gleeful behaviour in school among friends and teachers. But the actual fact when I'm alone, things might start to go awry and make me cry. Perhaps such issues had happend repetitively and life's telling me that I cannot take it anymore. Hence, ocassional emotional breakdown struck this pathetic path of this life. Maybe, I looked the other greener side of life too much that it doesn't make any more sense in being optimistic. Slowly, I tell you this life of mine has wild imginations and thoughts to be running high and to foresee circumstances in such a way that everything might not happen to what I want. But I wouldn't want it to happen. Maybe it's already happening but I still got time to turn myself around and start anew. On top of that, I wouldn't want to enjoy being new all alone. Well, I guess. That's fate. But somehow, sometime. I know I can change it. It's just within my reach and authority. Time will tell.
Love,ABJ & I miss you more, whenever I think about you- Saturday, February 7, 2009 4:06 PM
Untitled 19
Hello everyone. I just came back from Jurong having Home Nursing. Enjoyed it and the best part was when I got to forget all my troubles for half a day as we spent laughing and learning. Mr Rafi called me 'Seaweed'. Guess the name was already stuck to me :/ Today, we caught him off guard smoking when actually he said he'd stop since IDK when. & Yeah, today's my day to show him some vangeance. NA bombarded him like js;jdsoiajd, but no offence to both parties. Important thing is, what's being said in the room, left there. & That we enjoyed ourselves. Today's course ended 2 Hours earlier because there's not much thing to do. I spent $8 bucks buying sushi, bubble tea & Tao Kae Noi (Or something?) Currently blogging and I have nothing else to do. Planned to sleep soon for a while. These few days, emotions doesn't seem to go right. Well, I don't know how much tears I've shed throughout the week for those consecutive days. I don't seem to be emotionally strong recently. Sigh. But I'll be praying hard to wash away my grieves. All I yearn for is real love, mutual trust, understanding & care. For now, goodbye. I don't wish to message or chat to anyone because I'm not in the mood to do so. P/s: I WON'T REPLY ANY MESSAGES. Love,ABJ Life seems sweeter but I don't want to enjoy it alone- Friday, February 6, 2009 8:15 PM
Just My Luck
o5 Feb o9 was a quite normal day which I'd envisaged. However, I seemed to have been struck by SUEYNESS for upteen times a day throughout this week. There has been yet another tragedy to take place, suey-fully and I got to be prepared; thinking twice with everything I'm going to do. Basically, nothing much happend lah. Just filled with sadness and going through some emotional crisis. Not forgetting to the one day-younger NENEK! o6 Feb o9 was another day filled with ups & downs. Everything was alright in the morning. & SUEYNESS STRIKES during recess. My red tie got dipped in curry and cullotes. How suey can I be sia' ?!?!?!?! KNN~ So after recess, some big shit happend between me & a classmate of mine. Afterall, you should know your limit. & Which girlfriend loves to hear such negativity when one's talking bad about her Love? Hence, I have every right(s) to get angry. I hope you'll realize your mistake. It's okay if you don't aplogise because I was told that you were hesitating to do so as you're afraid that I might flare up. It's okay, I understand. I forgive you in silence but I will always remember what took place whenever you're talking to me in future. No sense of bearing any grudges. Also, for shouting at you right in front of other classmates I'm sorry. We're quits now I guess. But things may change between you & I from today onwards. In short, forgiven but not forgetten. Still, I guess we're okay. After such making a din in class, Benny & I did some E Maths worksheets. Seriously, we've got loads to do. Before that, thanks to those people who consoled me when I was in anger. Luckily I teared in minutes and continued with Maths afterwhich. At noon, Yusheng acitivity started. & Afterwhich the slideshows were shown, we started our YuShent tossing which group comprised of: Kayeh, Izwan, Anwar, Eunice, Jerene, Mrs Kok, XiaoGe and some other boys. Mrs Kok gave me extra tian tian mi mi (honey) and said to me 'You'll be extra sweet' ( & Therefore, I'm the sweetest eh Nasirah:D ) I wished the class to do well in N Levels and also for myself indivually. Also, wishing my sueyness would come to an end & lasting long with my superhero (: So yeah, went for training and vuala! A day in school has passed :D Here comes weekend for nothing........ Love,ABJ Moment of truth- Wednesday, February 4, 2009 10:27 PM
Sweet Sixteen... Exiled!
Edited/. Today marks the day whereby I turned sixteen! To those people who wished me Happy Birthday minutes before/after midnight, a thousand apologies for not replying your SMSes as I was already sleeping soundly: Hazmie. Haizan. Rahmat. Ruzanna. Jeremy. Megat. Anwar. Ms Lim. Danish. Khyrul. Abby. Syafiq Yazid. Ajib. Bado. Athena. & To beloved 4EAGLES With inclusive of the birthday surprise during Lunch, it was the shock of my life. I feel so appreciated. HAHAHA :P & The wonderful presents that I'd been hoping + The ubber sweet treat from Dear :D :D :D A gazallion thanks & I LOVE YO'LL! However, on this day has it's ups & down. Unfortunately, my handphone slipped out of my pocket in the bus. Hence, it went missing as soon as I alighted. Without further a do, thanks to the superhero who took note of the plate number(of the bus). MUACKS, I LOVE YOU HONEYYYYYY :P Cut it short, I was in time to retrieve my handphone back otherwise some bunch of people were already exploring my phone of wanting the intention to steal :l After having a hearty before-sunset dinner with Dear & Fir, I went home and went out with Family to have another feast. Surprisingly, Friday/Saturday will be having dinner at Nouvotel! Uncle Ali's birthday falls on the weekend, thus the plan. How luxurious~ Last but not least, Happy birthday to all those who shared the same date under February Babies! Namely: Heidi. Aqilah. Zhen Yi. To the belated ones would be: Yezid. Hazmie. Love,ABJ 'Jealousy brews in me...' - |