It has been some time since I last blogged. Well, some days were fine. Some days just weren't. It's normal but I hate to face it. Sometimes I just left that problem unsolved & move on. Sometimes I fight for it like there's no tomorrow. In fact, the word tomorrow is commonly used for losers like us. Nevertheless, I am trying hard to be out of this plentiful of lazy species who are aimlessly crawling on the surface of Earth.

I shall skip parts my happy moments because I don't have to rant so I'll vent and vomit everything that I've bottled up over the past few weeks. Well, I'm having problems regarding family matters. Maybe not my family but myself. I find that I can easily get things (the expensive items) easily but not something so simple like a homecooked food.

Why am I saying things like this?

For instance, I got my Blackberry phone. Happiness. But when it comes to mum cooking at home when I'm at the peak of yearning for homecooked meals, it was so hard for it to happen. Out of five, it happens only ONCE.

Then comes things in school; I tend to set aside all the problems I had at home. Surprisingly, all the comments teachers wrote in progress cards were all thing like I'm a cheerful person who respects people around me yadayadayada. I Think its bullshit but boy, I do sure hide my emotions well.

I'm just waiting to say what I have to say especially to my family.

Brother's getting out of hand. Mum always reprimand me if I didn't help her tend to her Facebook games which I think she's going crazy over something so useless that won't even help her in the future let alone afterlife. Dad's always being a relaxed person but I know he too, had alot of things to say. Just that he's being too nice of a human being.

I just got no one to talk to. & Whenever I'm stressed about a particular issue with my friends, I tend to signal the wrong impression. & Hence, people labelled me as someone who's had alter-ego attitude problem and love being a pesimistic person. Yeah, it comforts your bloody mouth to say all those nice things but try being in my shoes who's got no one to talk to eversince my loved ones depart for the afterlife.
They're my only talking companion & I've lost that. Well, just fucking get them back from the dead for me & you guys can jolly well fuck yourself with what you want to say about me.

So much for having close friends, family & a boyfriend. Sometimes I felt that no one really wants to hear what my problems are. They're like clouds which comes & go when they're done playing their roles as friends. I think that's bullshit people.

& Just to let you know, I never did appreciate someone so much before in my life. I don't think I need it anymore. Let myself just be this way. Afterall, everyone's pretending that they're giving a shit about it.



Chao outside, motherfuckers.