Pale

Friday, January 9, 2009 10:54 PM

Don't Call Me When You're Sober

Tryna' leave the light on when I'm gone, something I rely on to get home.

I know nothing of your kind. & I'm born to fill your evil mind, is it over yet? I can't wait.

Really felt devastated that night which made me sleep through the pain.
The situation reminded me of the times during my Sec 3 Councilor Camp whereby Melvin asked each& everyone of us

'How does it feel to be accused?'

& I clearly remembered what I replied. 'I'll feel frustrated and upset because I cannot convince others the truth'.

Now, I felt that way. The picture I encountered was very obvious.
I didn't feel angry that much, but I feel very upset what was being conveyed to me when the person is actually the one whom I love, alot.
To avoid any combative conversation further, I kept quiet. & As I'm typing I sobbed uncontrollably putting myself on the verge of crying but I had to try not to cry because my parents were around.
Keeping myself calm and not let emotions take over me was all I can ever resort to at that moment.
It's over for now... but instincts has it that we belong together.
There's reassurance in me, but not guranteed.
Thus, I'm worried.
Moments of the ole' days kept me remeniscing about going head over heels with the unexpected person.
But neither do I have the sense of damn regret that clots in mind.
& When Sharifah shot me a question, I went dumbstruck for a while and seriously the particular thing she said was disappointing.
However, I didn't blame her for what she said by her observation.
I think it's true and clear enough for the whole world to see what's going on.
I don't have to breathe a word regarding it. Sigh.
Guess I'm not that good in hiding my dire love live now, huh.

So sacrifice yourself, & let me have what's left.

I've been waiting for 3 hours for one to go online. But I guess I won't get the answer today.

Or there's no hope at all for now? My hopes are dashed.

Love,ABJ